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| [2006 April 19] Our big blue full-sized Bronco was t-boned by a high-speed Mexican who was so very innocent the local cops didn't bother to arrest him for speeding, not having a license, not having insurance, and not actually owning the car he ruined our gas-guzzling badass truck with, which summarily increased our insurance premiums and made laughing stock out of both of us. So I'm still not sure if that was a backfired curse (different story) or a painful blessing.
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I like Rudy's fedora. A wide-brimmed hat is the difference between glaring at a big bug that's dangling in front of your face or wincing back in terror as the same bug attempts to lay eggs in your eyesockets. Indiana Jones and Darkwing Duck are made with those hats --without those razor-brimmed rings you'd have a duck in a suit with no zoot and a guy trying to whip a snake off his face.
Speaking of big hats, if Toro had a collectible size set of antlers I don't think he would be bounding through the Panamanian jungles chasing after some drunk. I think the idea of hanging deer heads on fences to let the fly maggots clean them out came from finding deer heads hanging in trees. Picture a giant javelina chasing a terrified deer through the woods and you get the idea. Just one wrong turn and it could be a broken neck or the unfortunate demise of getting your nice pussy-magnets caught in some vines so the javelina can tear off chunks of meat while you scream in agony. | |
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| [2006 April 20] Rudy's hunting hat is supposed to be a tight-woven straw hat for shade, nothing else. I could have put a band around it that said "Corona", but I wasn't getting paid to do that. Also, the cammo ballcap was a little too anglophile for the character. He might just take up bow hunting for sport.
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The javelina and the deer around here don't do a lot of fighting with one another, from what I've seen. It's usually a case of "when one isn't in season, the other probably is". One thing that is interesting is that we have a hybrid of wild boar from the domestic pigs breeding with the javelinas. They're big, pot-bellied ugly wild pigs with fur like the javalinas, but often without the tusks. Hunters like these because they have the wild flavour, and a lot of ham. | |
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Please, for the love of all things straight and smart, don't fart in a movie theater. I know you think the winds will blow your presence up into Heaven, thus keeping your identity a secret, but it doesn't; rather, what it does is make everyone down- wind quite angry with you and they know who you are: you're the couple of fatasses in the upper row who've eaten so many burritos that taco bell had to close before 6pm.
El Toro. A dangerously aggressive buck that's been hunting the hunters for a few years. He's killed four and injured several more.
El Tire. A dangerously aggressive tire that's been hanging on the end of Rudy's Bronco for years. Because the damn thing has a habit of not locking when it's shut and swinging back when the truck is in motion, Rudy's been chased down by fellow drivers countless times. He now resorts to a jury-rigged 'latch' consisting of a screw hook and a twist-tie.
