Feels just like a moose's head!

Those two went together like green beans and pork chops, like wood chips and hampsters, like a stained glass window and sunlight, like brains and a new bullet, like a pool of fine oil and a smooth stretch of tarmac. Shoot reload, shoot reload... they just couldn't get enough of my rod so I gave them everything it had. Soon the floor was covered with meat. It was slick as a smeared snail and I had to run through the gunk to get my sugar. No, not the broad, the sugar. I wanted my goddamn sugar! ...ah... sweet, rifined sugar. Pouring like sand into a black desert the grains of heaven fell into my soul.

"What's on your mind, Dorma?"

"Oh, I don't know... I was just kinda wondering who the new girl was."

Oh, that's it then. She saw me with her. "She's a client. Nothing more."

"Nothing more, huh? So how come everyone's been saying you were groping her like an ape and his number one banana?"

"My-" Okay, now that's spooky. She's sounding like me now. "Dorma, you know I don't go after broads like I used to." Oops.

"I'm a broad? Just some chick you pump up, screw, deflate, and shove under the bed every night?"

"I didn't mean it that-"

"Here's your pie. You like pie, right?" She dropped the plate in front of me. Cherry pie. I never liked her cherry pie... well, what I mean is... oh, screw it. I sipped some coffee and spit it out on the floor. She filled my sugar jar with salt. Now what am I gonna do?

Precisely. Nothing. I got up, left her a fin, and drifted off into the night. "I can get another girl.", I told myself. I was never used to giving up so easily, but as the years wore on I got harder inside. Hard as nails they call me. He's hard like a Louisville Slugger. Hard like the liquor he drinks, like the coffee he swills, like the life he lives. That's me. I'm a P.I.