| [2006 April 19] Mel used a different scanning process for this page and it came out a bit too light. We may redo this page later, but it stays as it is for now. I hope it isn't too hard to read!
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There's nothing like a cat to make you feel like throwing across a room. Just as you're getting relaxed (and you're still in pain from hacking out a trench in the front yard a few days ago) here's this.. pointy thing digging it's claws into your skin like you're some sort of pillow. And then this thing decides to start nuzzling and sniffing your face and that's all you can take. Who's fault? According to the cat, it's your's. | |
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| [2006 April 25] It was a process called "Learning to use the interface for the new Cannon scanner you just bought". | |
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[Transcript] - Rudy is laying on the bed. Their cat is plopped onto the bed beside Rudy and Izzy walks in to ask, "Aren't you even going to clean yourself up before going to bed?"
"Bedder idea. How about you gib'me a sponge bath?"
"What if you have a serious infection?"
"Id'll heal. I been hurt worse before."
"Would you at least change?"
"Lader."
"Well, I'm going to get you a bowl of water and some soap. And some alchohol." Izzy stuffs a towel under Rudy's wound while he lays there, "I hate to bother you, but why are there two buzzards hanging out here?"
"Where?"
"Just outside the house. They've been here ever since you got back."
"You're try'n da tell me da get cleaned up?"
"I was just wondering if they wanted to tell you something."
The cat is on top of Rudy, kneeding on him. Rudy props himself up, "Um... I didn't jus hear'at, did I? I only do dat wierd stuff when I'm drunk. I'm not really talking to da animals. I only think I am. It idn't real."
"Those buzzards are real."
"Dey'r probably after da deer I shot."
"They're right outside our bedroom window. They've been there all this time."
Rudy sits on the side of the bed, "Dis is crazy talk."
Rudy's cat says, "When are you going to rub my tummy? Come on, it'll make you feel better!" |
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It was late and the steamy night had closed around us like a bear hug from a sweaty wressler. We stood in the doorway of her apartment as she took off her coat. Her hair gleamed in the lightlessness like a jet black VW. I half-way expected her to unstrap her hair and hang it on the doorknob, but then I remembered something, "Uhr.. so, who were the two buzzards hanging out downstairs?"
"Those are my grandparents. I invited them up to watch."
A paused long and hard. Finally I exclaimed, "Oh! That's a joke! ..heh heh.. sorry."
Oscar
Felis Domesticus
Oscar has three primary needs. Eating, Screwing, excreting, and Sleep. Repeat as needed. Oh, my bad. That was four. Oscar has few demands, hangs out when and where he wants, and pretty much has the world under his paws. Now, if he could only get the females to submit as willingly...
